I have exactly one month until I set off on the adventure of a lifetime, one that I hope leads to many more.There is not a particular way to describe how I feel right now. When I received the email with my invitation I was overwhelmed. I worked on getting my invitation for over a year! There have only been several other moments in my life that amounted to the type of joy I felt, when I graduated (HS, my AA and my BS), and when I got the opportunity to move to Seattle. I went through stages of shock, excitement, and tears of joy. As the months passed feelings of anticipation, nerves, and fear followed.
Now that there is a light at the end of a very long tunnel, I have the urge to sprint toward it. I feel completely ready and at ease with my decision, prepared to embark on this new chapter in my life. I have always been a very ambitious person. Making unrealistic goals reality, and setting my sights on the highest peaks and toughest climbs. I survive and fight because I know the risk is worth the reward.
My emotions are set to maximum right now. I spend my days preparing, making lists, going through my belongings, going over piles of paperwork, scrutinizing my finances..I feel overwhelmed in a different way now, my stress level making my head spin. There are dim moments of doubt, points of frustrations, and the desire to scream. There are so many perspectives on life in Kenya, so many scenarios one can conjure to how life will be. I have read multiple packing lists from volunteers, our main lists, lists, lists and more lists. Maybe I am driving myself crazy. I am definitely a researcher, a person who likes to be prepared. I am going with a very open mind and will myself to take in my new life with wonder, excitement, and curiosity. My experience and perspective will be unique. Even though my fears and trepidations are rattling me right now, I think back on the moment I got my letter. The moment that made me sit down from being weak at the knees, my eyes swell with such happiness. Then I look back further, remember “why” I joined :
To live of life of purpose and meaning that not only would profoundly change my life, but the lives of those around me, and be a part of a collective group that ambitiously took on the world in a selfless manner. I want to find my happiness and connect. To laugh, to smile, and to experience the wonder and beauty of life.